Ignorance

The worst thing you could do to a person is to ignore them. Because when you ignore a person, you deny this person from the most fundamental of all rights, the rights to be heard. Everyone deserves to be heard. No matter how stupid or unimportant the message may seem, no one should ever be ignored.

It might seem like a small thing and I might have made a big deal out of this, but I still think there’s something bigger going on when you ignore someone. Here are some examples I’ve come up with.

Let’s pretend you’re a parent to a child. He asks you a question, “What language do penguins speak in?” you decide to ignore him because of what a stupid question he’s asking. He asks you again. You still ignore him. He asks you the third time. You start to get a little annoyed. Just as he started to ask again, you snapped him halfway, blasting him saying “How should I know?! Can you please stop asking stupid questions I don’t know how to answer?” the boy kept silent, he stopped asking, and you found peace. Everything seems fine, so you thought. But it’s not. You might not realize, but you’ve just destroyed the boy’s curiosity. It’s typical for a child to be curious of his surroundings, but when you ignore him at this state, you make him believe that asking these things is a sin. He’ll have troubles exploring his mind. Some children learn to adapt, they keep their thoughts to themselves, but the thoughts are still there for them to ponder upon. But other children aren’t as strong. They completely shut down their whole imagination because their parents despise this habit of questioning everything. In the end, they’ll have a terrible unimaginative childhood and grow up to be a very very dull person. Take it this way: a crying baby would not stop crying until someone comforts him. Because he wants compassion and that warm fuzzy feeling of being loved. If we deny him of this small act, he’ll grow up unhappy and rebellious: love deprived. Same thing goes with a child with all these questions in his head. If there’s no one to share this thing developing in his brain, sooner or later it will die off and all that good imagination will go to waste.

A man threatens you. Screaming and yelling in his pursuit to break you. But you show no reaction. He screams even louder hoping you’d snap. Again, nothing. He walks away furiously, giving up his attempts. It’s true what they say, when someone tries to attack you in any way, ignorance is the best revenge. Simply by doing nothing, you can change a situation from bad to good or sometimes, vice versa. Because when you show no reaction at all to a person criticizing you, it shows that all the effort being put to bring you down does nothing towards you. It shows that you couldn’t care less at what is going on. It just screams “You got nothing on me”. This is a good thing to you, but a bad thing to the dude. Even though he might have started it, by ignoring him, you place a huge scar on his heart. He will never forget how he was humiliated, how he failed to break you in every way. It’s good if he stops yelling and screaming, yes. But what if this issue grows on something even more? What if because of what had happened, this man questions his manhood? His dignity? His self esteem? He could easily break down and change to be someone totally different (not necessarily for the better). Maybe even, by ignoring him, he evaluated himself and improved his yelling techniques. Until eventually, he finally breaks you apart. In this matter, consider the pros and cons of ignoring a person yelling at you, then only you act.

To sum it up, don’t ignore people. How would you feel if someone ignored you? Even if you disagree, even if you don’t know how to answer, even if you hate the person, do not ignore. Ignorance truly is the worst thing you could do. At least just acknowledge that you hear the person is good enough, you don’t even have to say anything. A simple nod would be just heavenly, rather than giving nothing back. No matter how small, there’s still some effort the person took to communicate with you. Just remember, a person is giving you a chance to speak to them, for better or for worse, at least someone still wants to hear your voice, don’t take it for granted. A “hi” deserves to be answered, a smile maybe or even better, a reply “hi”, even if it’s a stranger, it’s much better than having no one at all to give you such kindness. If you ignore people, they will too ignore you. 

So don’t ignore people, and they will treat you back with kindness and compassion. Even if at first you’d make a complete fool out of yourself, treat everyone with love. Because just like you, everyone deserves to be loved, not to be ignored :D

Crossroad to Happiness (:

A relationship can be amazing, and it can also be the worst mistake you’ve ever made. Ignore the drama and emotions to a relationship gone bad, we can see that the buildup of a relationship eventually and ironically causes a relationship to end. People tend to rush into things, believing that its okay nothing could possibly go wrong. The fact that they believe they know everything about that person boosts their spirits into skipping all the steps and straight to the final step. I’ll say this once boys and girls, when you think its okay, it never is.

However, not all is lost. Here are some guidelines for you to look into before taking it to the next step.

Spiritual – a person’s actions can only tell you so much about a person. It is easy to fake character, but it is impossible to change a person’s spirit. People who seem nice on the outside might not be as nice as you think. And people who seem bad on the outside might just be the nicest person you’ll ever meet. Now what you want to do is, push that person. Push them to the point where they’ll show you their true colors. Put them in a place they’re not comfortable with and they’ll have to do something about it: a crying baby or maybe burning their shirts for example will surely expose their true colors. If they react to these problems differently than they would normally around you, then this person is not worth it. Because like everything in life, consistency is the foundation of any relationship.

Background – the person’s history and biography is always important. Because above all, you’ll want to have a person you can actually have in common with. Someone who’ll laugh with you for no apparent reason, and someone to cry with you whenever you feel like it. If there’s no connection like this, they’re not the one for you. Maybe as a friend, but nothing more.

Intellect – the brain is the sexiest part of a human being. And a smart person is always a plus side. Now I’m not talking about book smarts. But smart in the sense that the way they think compliments the way you think. How easily it is to strike up a conversation can be a good guideline in this part. If you can take any simple object and turn it into an hour long of sheer goodness, then by all means you guys are awesome together. It doesn’t matter if you agree or disagree with each other, the fact that you can talk effortlessly and there’s not a single trace of awkwardness is already good enough.

Appearance – this is probably the least important of them all. If you prioritize this section the most, then you might as well save yourself the heartbreak because things would most likely go down the drain. But yes, this is a bonus if you could get. But if you can’t, well you don’t need this in the first place. Beauty is just for the very reason to have beautiful children but sad thing is, most of them aren’t as nice as they are good looking. So simply put, when looking to settle down, don’t care about beauty on the outside. Find someone who loves you for who you are, someone whose beauty is where it matters, on the inside.

But I don't want to separate :(

Separation: it happens when you no longer have something in common that binds you together. Among lovers, among friends, among family, even among enemies, these things happen. In every relationship, good or bad, there’s always something connecting you with that person. This thing, we’ll call it a magnet. When you no longer have this magnet keeping you together, you are separated.

Usually when you are separated from someone, you’d be optimistic about it. For the people you love, you’ll tell yourself “It’s ok, we can still meet up” or for the people you hate “To hell with that kid!” and well at first, you try giving it a shot. Thinking maybe just maybe you’d survive without this person close by. You’ll do what seems to be the smartest thing to do: move on. But sooner or later, you miss it. Whether it’s your lover or your enemy, you will miss having this person in your life. You’ll try to get back with this person, just hoping a spark would show and everything will go back to normal. But it’s not that easy. Now that you have lost this magnet, there’s nothing keeping you together. Like it or not, the relationship you once had can no longer be the same.

So what you’ll do is you’d find a replacement. Although not exactly like the person you’ve lost, second best is still better than nothing. Might seem okay for a while, but the fact that you’ll never find someone like that is overwhelming. You feel lost and you could feel a big hole in your heart that may never be filled, it’s unbearable. You start to become desperate. You treasure every moment you have with that person, even if it’s just a minute. What’s worse is when you start to doubt that the person you care about this much is affected at all with you gone.

However, the best thing to do at times like this is just to accept the fact that you no longer have that sense of magic you used to have. Accept this fact and live with it. Remember that no matter how much things have changed, life goes on and it’ll always be up to us how we choose to react to it. Arrange a meet with this person, share your feelings and tell this person what a state you’re in. Probably then, that person would understand and although not the same as it used to be, your relationship will improve to be something even better.