Ignorance

The worst thing you could do to a person is to ignore them. Because when you ignore a person, you deny this person from the most fundamental of all rights, the rights to be heard. Everyone deserves to be heard. No matter how stupid or unimportant the message may seem, no one should ever be ignored.

It might seem like a small thing and I might have made a big deal out of this, but I still think there’s something bigger going on when you ignore someone. Here are some examples I’ve come up with.

Let’s pretend you’re a parent to a child. He asks you a question, “What language do penguins speak in?” you decide to ignore him because of what a stupid question he’s asking. He asks you again. You still ignore him. He asks you the third time. You start to get a little annoyed. Just as he started to ask again, you snapped him halfway, blasting him saying “How should I know?! Can you please stop asking stupid questions I don’t know how to answer?” the boy kept silent, he stopped asking, and you found peace. Everything seems fine, so you thought. But it’s not. You might not realize, but you’ve just destroyed the boy’s curiosity. It’s typical for a child to be curious of his surroundings, but when you ignore him at this state, you make him believe that asking these things is a sin. He’ll have troubles exploring his mind. Some children learn to adapt, they keep their thoughts to themselves, but the thoughts are still there for them to ponder upon. But other children aren’t as strong. They completely shut down their whole imagination because their parents despise this habit of questioning everything. In the end, they’ll have a terrible unimaginative childhood and grow up to be a very very dull person. Take it this way: a crying baby would not stop crying until someone comforts him. Because he wants compassion and that warm fuzzy feeling of being loved. If we deny him of this small act, he’ll grow up unhappy and rebellious: love deprived. Same thing goes with a child with all these questions in his head. If there’s no one to share this thing developing in his brain, sooner or later it will die off and all that good imagination will go to waste.

A man threatens you. Screaming and yelling in his pursuit to break you. But you show no reaction. He screams even louder hoping you’d snap. Again, nothing. He walks away furiously, giving up his attempts. It’s true what they say, when someone tries to attack you in any way, ignorance is the best revenge. Simply by doing nothing, you can change a situation from bad to good or sometimes, vice versa. Because when you show no reaction at all to a person criticizing you, it shows that all the effort being put to bring you down does nothing towards you. It shows that you couldn’t care less at what is going on. It just screams “You got nothing on me”. This is a good thing to you, but a bad thing to the dude. Even though he might have started it, by ignoring him, you place a huge scar on his heart. He will never forget how he was humiliated, how he failed to break you in every way. It’s good if he stops yelling and screaming, yes. But what if this issue grows on something even more? What if because of what had happened, this man questions his manhood? His dignity? His self esteem? He could easily break down and change to be someone totally different (not necessarily for the better). Maybe even, by ignoring him, he evaluated himself and improved his yelling techniques. Until eventually, he finally breaks you apart. In this matter, consider the pros and cons of ignoring a person yelling at you, then only you act.

To sum it up, don’t ignore people. How would you feel if someone ignored you? Even if you disagree, even if you don’t know how to answer, even if you hate the person, do not ignore. Ignorance truly is the worst thing you could do. At least just acknowledge that you hear the person is good enough, you don’t even have to say anything. A simple nod would be just heavenly, rather than giving nothing back. No matter how small, there’s still some effort the person took to communicate with you. Just remember, a person is giving you a chance to speak to them, for better or for worse, at least someone still wants to hear your voice, don’t take it for granted. A “hi” deserves to be answered, a smile maybe or even better, a reply “hi”, even if it’s a stranger, it’s much better than having no one at all to give you such kindness. If you ignore people, they will too ignore you. 

So don’t ignore people, and they will treat you back with kindness and compassion. Even if at first you’d make a complete fool out of yourself, treat everyone with love. Because just like you, everyone deserves to be loved, not to be ignored :D

Crossroad to Happiness (:

A relationship can be amazing, and it can also be the worst mistake you’ve ever made. Ignore the drama and emotions to a relationship gone bad, we can see that the buildup of a relationship eventually and ironically causes a relationship to end. People tend to rush into things, believing that its okay nothing could possibly go wrong. The fact that they believe they know everything about that person boosts their spirits into skipping all the steps and straight to the final step. I’ll say this once boys and girls, when you think its okay, it never is.

However, not all is lost. Here are some guidelines for you to look into before taking it to the next step.

Spiritual – a person’s actions can only tell you so much about a person. It is easy to fake character, but it is impossible to change a person’s spirit. People who seem nice on the outside might not be as nice as you think. And people who seem bad on the outside might just be the nicest person you’ll ever meet. Now what you want to do is, push that person. Push them to the point where they’ll show you their true colors. Put them in a place they’re not comfortable with and they’ll have to do something about it: a crying baby or maybe burning their shirts for example will surely expose their true colors. If they react to these problems differently than they would normally around you, then this person is not worth it. Because like everything in life, consistency is the foundation of any relationship.

Background – the person’s history and biography is always important. Because above all, you’ll want to have a person you can actually have in common with. Someone who’ll laugh with you for no apparent reason, and someone to cry with you whenever you feel like it. If there’s no connection like this, they’re not the one for you. Maybe as a friend, but nothing more.

Intellect – the brain is the sexiest part of a human being. And a smart person is always a plus side. Now I’m not talking about book smarts. But smart in the sense that the way they think compliments the way you think. How easily it is to strike up a conversation can be a good guideline in this part. If you can take any simple object and turn it into an hour long of sheer goodness, then by all means you guys are awesome together. It doesn’t matter if you agree or disagree with each other, the fact that you can talk effortlessly and there’s not a single trace of awkwardness is already good enough.

Appearance – this is probably the least important of them all. If you prioritize this section the most, then you might as well save yourself the heartbreak because things would most likely go down the drain. But yes, this is a bonus if you could get. But if you can’t, well you don’t need this in the first place. Beauty is just for the very reason to have beautiful children but sad thing is, most of them aren’t as nice as they are good looking. So simply put, when looking to settle down, don’t care about beauty on the outside. Find someone who loves you for who you are, someone whose beauty is where it matters, on the inside.

But I don't want to separate :(

Separation: it happens when you no longer have something in common that binds you together. Among lovers, among friends, among family, even among enemies, these things happen. In every relationship, good or bad, there’s always something connecting you with that person. This thing, we’ll call it a magnet. When you no longer have this magnet keeping you together, you are separated.

Usually when you are separated from someone, you’d be optimistic about it. For the people you love, you’ll tell yourself “It’s ok, we can still meet up” or for the people you hate “To hell with that kid!” and well at first, you try giving it a shot. Thinking maybe just maybe you’d survive without this person close by. You’ll do what seems to be the smartest thing to do: move on. But sooner or later, you miss it. Whether it’s your lover or your enemy, you will miss having this person in your life. You’ll try to get back with this person, just hoping a spark would show and everything will go back to normal. But it’s not that easy. Now that you have lost this magnet, there’s nothing keeping you together. Like it or not, the relationship you once had can no longer be the same.

So what you’ll do is you’d find a replacement. Although not exactly like the person you’ve lost, second best is still better than nothing. Might seem okay for a while, but the fact that you’ll never find someone like that is overwhelming. You feel lost and you could feel a big hole in your heart that may never be filled, it’s unbearable. You start to become desperate. You treasure every moment you have with that person, even if it’s just a minute. What’s worse is when you start to doubt that the person you care about this much is affected at all with you gone.

However, the best thing to do at times like this is just to accept the fact that you no longer have that sense of magic you used to have. Accept this fact and live with it. Remember that no matter how much things have changed, life goes on and it’ll always be up to us how we choose to react to it. Arrange a meet with this person, share your feelings and tell this person what a state you’re in. Probably then, that person would understand and although not the same as it used to be, your relationship will improve to be something even better.

The game we used to play

Flings: It's usually simple and straight forward, but not always understood. Here's a post about what usually happens after a fling.

The victim: The other person. The young at the game, vulnerable lover. People looking for love, but instead ends up finding trouble. A mixture of gullibility and lack of experience might just be the death of you in this game we all play. But unfortunately, there's nothing a player loves more than an easy win. They will target people like this and go in for the easy kill. It makes sense that a person would think to go for easier targets, saving themselves the trouble and have more momentum for other things to be done, all in the name of getting laid.

The player: Can be a dude, can be a girl. But you know, a girl can be called a hooker, a guy can't. So in this case we'll take dudes as the players. The players, all they care about is to get you in their arms for just one night. And after that, leave you alone and never call you back. These people, they're very serious in what they do, not looking for a serious relationship. Ironically, the people they love to target are the people who are very serious for a serious relationship. Depending on how desperate they are, these people will do anything to get you hooked. To them, you're just an ice cream stick. At first you may be useful to them, but once the ice cream's all gone, you'll be thrown away, forgotten.

1) The Bait - First impression is always important. Mushy words will be key, and their goal is to make you fall in love.

2) Hooked - Once that's done, seduction and temptation comes to play. Intoxicate you with drinks and laughter, until you just can't get enough of the person.

3) Reeling in - They will ask you to do something you don't normally do. Keep you vulnerable and giving them full control over you

4) Net it - Putting you in a place the they're comfortable with and you're not. Making you feel that you need them around to keep you comfortable and safe

5) The Kill - Finally, they will have you in their arms, fooled by love. At this point, whether you realizes it or not, they can ask you to do anything they want

6) Pre Gutting - After the person gets what they want, they have no use for you and leave you be just like that, never to see you again.

7) The Trade - There you are, all alone. Feeling so used. The person gets what they want, and you get educated on a thing or two about love. Somehow or rather, it's a win win situation :D

Well, although rare, but there are times when flings are a mutual thing. Both you and that person want the same thing. To have fun with you, then forget it ever happened. It's simple and straight forward, shouldn't be a problem to understand it. But then, once you've played the game for too long, you get tired of it. You feel this emptiness inside, feeling that you truly will, never find love. Destined to stay single forever in this countless flings. And sometimes, that's all you need to change yourself. You start looking for love, afraid that someday you will die a lonely, sad sad person. All because when you were young, you took love for granted. And now, it's messing you up.

ACCEPT or DECLINE

All of us, everyone in this world. All we ever want is acceptance. From childhood until the day we die, all that really matters is to be accepted.

And as we grow, the level of acceptance and it's importance in our lives also grow just as we do. From being accepted into this world, to take in that first breath of air all the way until the point of whether we'll be accepted into Heaven or Hell. We all just want to be accepted.

Even if, at first, having the first conversation with what it seems, the most amazing person you'll ever meet is the best form of acceptance you can get, will later be just another word in our vocabulary: a friend. Or if the first girl to ever talk to you might cause your heart to beat fast and slow at the same time, might even cause you to fall in love. How you wish that girl felt the same way you do when you're around her. How you hoped she'd accept your love but you're just too afraid to find out the answer. Yet now, flirting with girls and toying with their emotions is just another daily routine in the life of a playboy.

Like it or not, all we want in life is acceptance. Whether it's for love or simply for who we are, we all depend on one another to answer us with the greatest word in the English dictionary: "okay". Okay. Something a person would say if they accepts something. It's an amazing word because just by saying it, you destroy all forms of argument and confusion, sometimes could even be enough to cheer someone up. You should try saying it sometimes :)

However, different people may have different forms acceptance that they're after. Some might be looking for someone out there to spend the rest of their lives together, some just want people to accept the gifts or talents that they have to offer to world, some just want you to accept that they're happy the way they are, while others just want to be left alone where he/she can be whoever they want to be. There's nothing left to do but to just accept what people have to say, then maybe they will to accept you for who you are.

A restart button

Mistakes: some mistakes are better to repeat while others are better left untouched. Some mistakes are better to be repeated because we still believe that it is in fact not a mistake at all. While other mistakes are just wrong from top to bottom, enough to bring even the toughest men to their deaths.

In life, we make decisions, we make mistakes. Some are simpler normal everyday mistakes that we do, while others are mistakes that don't really occur that much but when it does happen, you start having this feeling inside: a well blended mixture of sadness, regrets and self hatred. As humans, we make mistakes. It's this simple imperfection in us that makes us uniquely perfect and there's nothing we can do to avoid it. Remember that fact in everything that we do. Yes we make mistakes, everyone knows that. But what most people don't realise is that, with every mistakes that we make, simple or difficult, there's always a restart button. No matter how bad a situation may seem, there's always a way to make it better. Back to the way it used to be, a restart button. We just have to look for it :)

Maybe we can't undo some things and maybe some feelings just never fade away, but I believe there's always a way to make a person feel better and go through anything life has to offer. It could be your friends, it could be music, it could be driving, it could even be something as simple as eating. Just find anything that calms you down. Life's too short to fill it with regrets and guilt. Because no matter how much we cry or get depressed over a mistake we did, it'll never undo the mistakes we make. We just have to make the best of what we have and leave the past behind us.

So to all you feeling like crap because of a mistake you've made in the past, don't think too much about it. If you really didn't mean to do what you did, I'm sure the person will understand (yes even if you killed that person) no need to worry, just apologise and give the person some time to approach you again. To the person involved, you have every right to get angry. It's your emotions after all. But think back, is it necessary to get angry? Has the person caused so much damage to you? Did he/she purposely caused you to be like this? If your answer is yes for all three questions, then you might want to approach this person to make him/her realise the mistake they did to you, then listen to what he/she has to say. If there's not even a single hint of apology in what the person say, by all means rip their heads off :D

Learn from your mistakes, you might even realise that the biggest mistakes you make might as well be the biggest success you made. Humans, we learn to improve ourselves each day. And each day we learn to forgive one another even more frequently. It is as humans, in our nature to make mistakes :) we just have to look at it from a different angle to realise what a mistake it is.

Compromise Damn it!

People come and go everyday saying stuff about how they dreamed to better but there’s always something blocking their way to achieving it. No matter what they say, it'll always have more or less the same message "I'm not good enough" or "It's not my fault" or "If only I had a chance". All I have to say to you, COMPROMISE

Fact is, people tend to want something they can't have. I'm not saying you can never have it, you're just not ready for it yet. Believe me, you'll never be not good enough for something. You just haven't found something you're awesome at. There are a million different things to do out there, I'm sure you'll find one thing you're awesome at :)

Saying it's not your fault - all you're doing is denying what you did. Well maybe you're not a hundred percent guilty on whatever it is you're accused of, but think back, are you a hundred percent innocent? The reason I say this is because when someone accuse you of something, the person must have suspected you for something. Someway, somehow you did something to put yourself into trouble. If you honestly think you’re innocent, fight for your right. Otherwise, accept the fact that you did something and now you have to pay for it. And to those thinking of blaming someone, take a chill pill. Relax, think for a while. Has this person really done anything bad? Try to put yourself in their perspective first, that way when you do blame that person, at least you have a strong reason to back you up.

In this life, chances are everywhere. Anything can be a stepping stone for something bigger. You just have to put your mind into it. Focus on what you want and how you want to get it. Once you've got that through, I'm sure you can make any simple nothing to be something awesome. Cause let's face it, most of the awesome stuff in this world is something we would not think of investing on because it didn't seem so important at that time. Take drinking straws for example, before it's time, straws didn't even make their way to our minds at all. At that time, we take our drinks like nature intended it to be drunk. But now, some genius defeated the laws of physics and created this, this eighth wonder of the world: the drinking straw. It's amazing how that dude figured out a way to make water flow into our thirsty throats using no effort whatsoever. Kudos to you Straw Man :D

All I'm saying is, if you learn to compromise in life, good things will come to you. And even in love, people always dream of the perfect someone (oh don't you deny it) chances are, you won't get this fellow in your life. So what to do? Go for the next best thing. Yes the person’s not really perfect, but neither are you. Sorry to say, but if you don't compromise soon, you'll stay single forever. Best thing to do, revisit your fantasy dream boy/girl and determine which is realistic and which should just remain as a fantasy. Once you've minimized down your fantasy part of that lucky person, see if you know someone that fits (if not perfectly, close to it) your criteria. If you do find the person, Go! Take a chance on that person :)you have my blessings

Here's a scenario for you: A dude sends his five year old car to a workshop so that some repair work and pimping out can be done. At first he felt like selling the car, but after his son begs him not to, he just had to send the car. So after talking to the mechanic, he promised to have the car ready in a week's time. The dude waited, for seven days he did. He was so excited, oh how he imagined the day when he will once again see the car he fell in love with five years ago. Just then, he received a call, it was the mechanic requesting for an extra two days to have the rims done. The dude was quite disappointed but what can he do, he had to face the problem and give the man an extra two days. Two days has passed, and a few events had to be canceled. The dude can't wait to get his car. Just as he thought everything went well, a phone call was received. Again, it was the mechanic, this time asking for an extra one day due to a setback that had happened. The dude got furious, he can't go on like this, it's his car and he wants it now, so he yelled at the mechanic and said bad stuff about him. The mechanic kept quiet. He didn't want to argue. He simply accepted the criticism and politely apologizes. The dude was still not satisfied, he ended the call and waited impatiently for twenty four hours to pass. The next morning, he received a phone call from the man. The car is done. The dude didn't seem too happy about it, he was still furious. He told the mechanic to send the car to the dude's house personally and make him take a cab afterwards, with the intention to take revenge on the frustration this dude's been going through. Thirty minutes has passed, and there it is. His shiny new pimped out golden car has arrived. He could not believe his eyes, it's even better than the car used to be five years ago. He was so happy, it was enough to bring him to tears. The man he cursed and insulted took care of his baby and made it beautiful again. It was perfect, flawless, and all the problems he had before was gone. The dude is once again, in love. He looked at the mechanic with a smile on his face and a stream of tears hanging from his upper lip, he said "Thank you" while approaching the man to hug him. He cried tears of joy on the man's right shoulder and said "I'm sorry for the things I said yesterday" the mechanic said nothing but just gave the poor man a pat on his shoulder. The dude then personally drove the mechanic back to his workshop and gave him a generous amount of money as tip. The dude then came home smiling, thinking about what had happened =)

Like the two men above, learn to compromise with one another and you'll see things from a different perspective. Like the dude who has missed out a lot because of the mechanic. Well the dude shouldn't have requested so many things to be done on the car at once if he depended on that car so much. Or like the mechanic who should've kept his promises. To me, there's no wrong, there's no right. It's just what happened, and how you deal with it. They both have done a good job at letting the customer know what's up and letting the mechanic do his job with the time that he needs. And I think they handled it well. Yes it's a true story.

Simply said, Compromise Damn it! :D